The Wandering Mind of Evan Stark

Hundreds of people have asked me to write a column for this website.

 

Well, it wasn’t actually hundreds of people, it was just Dom Marino but Dom can, at certain times, sound like hundreds of people.

 

When I agreed to do so, Dom told me that I could write whatever I liked,whenever I wanted to, and for however long I wanted the piece to be.

 

That made sense to me, since those were the same options I was given when I worked in advertising. When I asked him what the pay was, he said that it would be exactly what I get from “The New Yorker”.

 

Naturally I immediately agreed, but with one proviso. That Jack Dillon would not pick up his pencil, cross out my words and substitute his own.

 

Dom advised me that it would be very difficult for Jack to do so because Jack doesn’t have any pencils with him.

 

So now that I agreed to write the kind of stuff nobody would ever read, we needed a title for my occasional musings.

 

Several titles for my “column” were forwarded to me by Dom Marino and Lou Delamarter but when I saw their choices, my mind started to wander. And that’s when I had my eureka moment.

 

I would call it “Evan Stark, Another Wandering Jew”.

 

Unfortunately, someone else had already laid claim to that title, so I had to settle for the one you see here, even though Dom and Lou were against it because neither of them believed that I actually have a mind.

 

The first rule I made for myself was to avoid mentioning anything political. Occasionally, I might ask why anyone would vote for a candidate whose name reminds me of a baseball glove.

 

And I also have some doubts about voting for a candidate whose name sounds remarkably close to Osama.

 

But I’m going to stay away from serious topics like that. Which doesn’t leave me much to talk about.

 

So that’s it for my first column. Look for my next one whenever I get around to it.

 

Remember, if you don’t see it here, you won’t see it anywhere.